my sisters under your porch take her home
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
