I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize