Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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