Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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