Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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