Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize