We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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