Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
