i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
