Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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