Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
