Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
