don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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