we have pet lesbian snakes
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
