another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
