So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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