If i come over, it means nothing
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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