They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
