We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
