i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
