wat bout pragnant strippers??
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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