my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
