Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He better not be in your backpack
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
