Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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