Sry I called you an 8
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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