i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize