we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
