he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
