so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
