So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
