Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
