Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
