she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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