I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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