i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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