this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize