I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
