I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
