So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
