He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
