and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
