The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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