Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize