Jerry, you need to find god
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
