I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Is it because I queefed?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
third nipple confirmed
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize