dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
