Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize