just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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