He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
How does it feel to date your dad?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
