I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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