"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize