careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize