So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You need a sexual gate keeper
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
