I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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