no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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