You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
