I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
