weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
