Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
