I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I am naked and annoyed.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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