People with herpes should wear stickers.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
