Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
