I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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