somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
