some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
