It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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