do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
