chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i drank out of a bidet.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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