and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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