i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
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