I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
