i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
