i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wish you could order shots online.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
