when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
