I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
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