best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
