He is an equal opportunity slut.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
