You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
handjob tips. give me some.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize