Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
