Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize